YOUR WAYS GLADDEN MY HEART ALWAYS

My heart,

Your ways gladden my heart ever and anon,

The way you set me to dance always

Whenever I remember you, I feel like jumping

Because I love you.

I hope you are aware that I was doused by rain while waiting for you?

I was sun-scorched but remained unruffled,

Because I love you

Just like butterfly loves flower

Just like moth loves fire.

Come and kiss me.

I want us to be locked in embrace.

I want you to lay your head on my body

So that we stay together and watch the sky

See how it radiates in blue!

Sweet breeze and fragrance waft from flowers

They gladden my heart.

Come oh lady, my stunning beauty, the one whose waist can make one kill a goat,

Will you marry me?

  

IFE GI NA ATỌ M UTỌ MGBE NILE

Obi m,

Ife gi na atọ m utọ mgbe nile,

Ka isi eme m ka m na agba egwu mgbe ọ bụla

M cheta gi, ọdi m kam wulie elu

Nihi na’m hụrụ gi n’anya

Okwa ima na mmiri mara m oge m n’eche gi?

Anwụ chara m mana owute ghị m

Nihi na’m hụrụ gi n’anya

Dị ka otú urukurubụba hụrụ ifuru n’anya

Dika nla hụrụ ọkụ n’anya

Bia susuo m ọnụ

A chọrọ m ka m na gi bie ọma

A chọrọ m ka idebe isi gi na ahu m

K’anyi nọrọ na ele eluigwe anya

Le ka ọna acha anụnụ anụnụ

Ikuku ọma na isi ọma siri na ifuru abia

Ha na eme m ka obi di m ụtọ

Bia nne, oyoyo m, elelewe úkwù egbuo ewu m,

Iga alụ m?

 

THOSE WHO DO NOT SIT AT THE DINNER TABLE ARE FORGOTTEN___ INTERVIEW WITH CHIKA UNIGWE

Chika Unigwe was born in Enugu, Nigeria, and now lives in Turnhout, Belgium, with her husband and four children.
She holds a BA in English Language and Literature from the University of Nigeria, Nsukka, and an MA from the Catholic University of Leuven, Belgium. She also holds a PhD from the University of Leiden, The Netherlands, having completed a thesis entitled "In the shadow of Ala. Igbo women writing as an act of righting" in 2004.
Chika Unigwe is the author of fiction, poetry, articles and educational material. She won the 2003 BBC Short Story Competition for her story "Borrowed Smile", a Commonwealth Short Story Award for "Weathered Smiles" and a Flemish literary prize for "De Smaak van Sneeuw", her first short story written in Dutch. "The Secret", another of her short pieces, was nominated for the 2004 Caine Prize. She was the recipient of a 2007 Unesco-Aschberg fellowship for creative writing, and of a 2009 Rockefeller Foundation fellowship for creative writing.

Jeff Unaegbu: You are very welcome, Chika.  An average modern African woman is said to be facing difficult and shifting gender roles in that she finds herself working during the day and preparing food in the evenings and early mornings for her husband and children, without having much time to herself nor being very successful in making the man understand the pressure of the workload she faces, especially when he demands pleasure at night. What is your take on this situation and has any of your writings been able to address this issue, given that divorce rates, especially among literary and non-literary artistes, are beginning to rise because of shifting gender roles in Africa?

Chika Unigwe: Divorce rates are rising because more women are able to live independently of a man, they earn their own money and so on. How to survive alone, to bear the financial burden was a primary reason why many women stayed on in abusive relationships. I suspect also that divorce is not as frowned upon these days as much as it was in the past.

JU:Who or what inspired you into writing and at what age did you fall in love with the art?

CU: I met Flora Nwapa when I was a primary school pupil, and she made me, more than anything else at that age, want to be a writer. I adored her. I have always loved reading and my parents fostered that love by investing in books. 

JU: Some poems in your first book, "Tear Drops", seem to smack of youthful ardor, especially the one which was a love poem to someone else. Please tell us more about this book.

CU: It was a book I wrote as a young woman; some of the poems there I wrote as a teenager, others were written while I was at the university. I was in my second year when it came out, so that explains its youthfulness. I dedicated the love poem to a boy I was in love with at the time.

JU: Some poems are written in esoteric terminologies that cut off readers interests. What do you advice writers should do to make poetry enjoyable and popular?

CU: I haven't written poetry in ages. I am also very wary of prescribing what a writer should or shouldn't do.  Different kinds of poems appeal to different readers. There is a Belgian poet who combines poetry with Rockn Roll. He claims it makes it more accessible to people who would otherwise not listen to poetry. Some people agree with him, others don't.

JU: As a Nigerian writer living outside the country for sometime now, how has this change of environment affected your writings, seeing also that you are married to a Belgian?

CU: My being married to a Belgian has had less of an effect on my writings than my having moved to Belgium. When you move you experience things differently, experience different cultures, and since our writing mostly comes from within, you are influenced by all these. Other themes might have chosen me to write on them had I lived elsewhere. 

JU: Back in the University of Nigeria, Nsukka, you graduated from the English Department, could you relieve those moments, bringing into view how they helped you grow as a writer and what you have done or would like to do to give back to that university?

CU: Prof. Ossie Enekwe started a creative writing Course in my second year at Nsukka and one of the most enduring lessons he taught me was the art of observing. I remember submitting a story to him and he told me, I want to see the ants on that log of wood move. Ive never forgotten that.

JU: Your works from "Born in Nigeria" to "On Black Sisters Street" seem to explore themes such as loneliness, prostitution, grief and illness. Why do you address such themes and does this tendency comes from subconscious memories of a painful experience you may have had while growing up?

CU: "Born in Nigeria" was a short pamphlet I wrote as an undergraduate disillusioned with Nigeria, And it was only published because my dad was willing to pay for it. Its theme is completely different from that of OBSS. I had a regular happy childhood: two parents who never had a disagreement in our presence; brothers and sisters; a Raleigh bike; holidays in the village; a summer vacation in London thrown in. None of these experiences I'd describe as painful. What my works tend to have in common is an exploration of people who live at the margins of society. In the Phoenix, it is an immigrant Nigerian dealing with the loneliness and loss of a child: in OBSS , it was prostitutes.

JU: In order to encourage and motivate upcoming writers, could you kindly reveal to us the difficulties you went through to have your works published and how you overcame them?

CU: I was very lucky in the sense that I was discovered.  I took part in a writing competition, and was called up and asked if I had more works to show.  And then at the time I started looking for an agent. And at a Caine event in Oxford, I fortuitously sat at the same dinner table with a man who eventually became my agent, David Godwin.  We had a good chat, I sent him my works and the rest as they say is history.

JU: You were elected the first foreign-born councilor in Turnhout in 2007. What informed your decision to run for election?

CU: I ran for a seat because I wanted to make a change. There's a Flemish saying that those who do not sit at the dinner table are forgotten. I wanted to be visible, to bring the marginalized to the centre of power.

JU: What advice do you have for upcoming Nigerian writers?

CU: Same advice I'd give to any budding writer, and the same I got: Read a lot, be open to constructive criticism, join reputable online critique groups; write a lot.

JU: Thank you Chika Unigwe for this enlivening interview. We hope to have you again soon for another charming session.

CU: Thank you.

Interview conducted April 2011. Appeared in Sunday Vanguard, July 3, 2011, p. 47.

IF YOU DON'T GET INVOLVED, CREATIVITY WILL STILL HAPPEN__ NNOROM AZUONYE

1

. Please can you tell us a bit about yourself?

How many words am I allowed? I am the youngest of Stephen and Hannah Azuonye's nine children. From the Isuikwuato stock in what is now Abia State of Nigeria. I was however born at Enugu six days after the first guns of the Nigeria-Biafra war were fired. So I am one of those Biafran Babies you hear about. I am an interviewer, a publisher, literary editor and an aspiring entrepreneur. I write plays, some fiction and compact narratives I call prosems which some editors have mistaken as poems and published them as such. Who am I to complain? My books include Letter to God & Other Poems, The Bridge Selection: Poems for the Road, and Blue Hyacinths (ed. with Geoff Stevens). My collection of short stories; The Magenta Shadow will be published in the last quarter of 2011. What I consider my most important roles in life are first, husband to the special Thelma Amaka, and father to two wonderful human beings; my son Arinze Chinedum, and daughter Nwachi Ola.

2. You are synonymous with Sentinel Poetry Movement and its online magazines; Sentinel Literary Quarterly and Sentinel Nigeria, a writer's and reader's site, and I am happy to say that I enjoyed the moments I had in the Sentinel Poetry Bar, back in 2004, especially with the likes of Molara Wood and Unoma Azuah. Now what prompted your move to include nollywood or the Nigerian movie industry as part of your outreach (aside the Sentinel niche) to your audience?

Sentinel Poetry Movement has made a life of its own, and since we launched Sentinel Literary Movement of Nigeria which is ably administered by Richard Ali, I am now more confident that Sentinel has the required resident talent to make it outlive my dreams. We are now preparing for the 10th Anniversary celebrations of Sentinel to be held when the organisation turns ten in December 2012. What many people don't remember or know is that I trained as a Dramatic Artist at the University of Nigeria, Nsukka, that my plays "A Tasty Taboo" and "Return of the Businessman" have been performed on stage and broadcast on TV. I also co-wrote the screenplay of Obi Emelonye's 2003 film "Echoes of War" (I was credited as Rommy Azuonye - Script Development). I am also struggling with allowing a production of a screenplay "Murder with Applause" which I wrote between 1997 and 2004 the contents of which I disagree with now on a spiritual level, and I am putting reviewing a recently-completed screenplay "Sword of Justice". You see I have not been too far away from Nollywood. What it is, as part of my business; Eastern Light EPM International, I run a publishing and film marketing style Nollywood Focus. Over the last few years I have interviewed some Nollywood players including Chucks Mordi, Charles Novia, Obi Emelonye, Don Pedro Obaseki and Teco Benson for Nollywood Focus. In October 2010, Nollywood Focus facilitated the screening rights for "Nnenda" at the British Museum, London, with the kind cooperation of Izu Ojukwu. Nollywood Focus also played a key role in the runaway success of The Mirror Boy Premiere at the Empire Cinema, Leicester Square, London. We kept The Mirror Boy in the consciousness of our readers, covering for free, the stories of the movie from auditions to the premiere. We even got involved in selling tickets through our website for the movie. These are the services Nollywood Focus wants to continue to render the Nigerian film industry. We are happy to tell the stories of the industry, all we ask is for film-makers to send us the stories of the films they are working on and we will run them. We are happy to set up and run premieres and short to medium term cinema runs across the United Kingdom. It is my view that Nollywood, though far from perfect right now, has so much to offer the world, and I am wiling to contribute my own quota in making sure that the world embraces Nollywood. Mind you, if I don't get involved, it will still happen. Nollywood will conquer the world. I don't want to sit under a tree at Isuikwuato in my twilight years reading about Nollywood in the papers and wondering where I was when it was all happening.

3. Please can you tell us about your new flick, The Fake Prophet, its synopsis and what message you intend to pass across with it?

OK, my new flick, in the sense of the new film I am marketing, I had no hand in the making of this film, is "The Fake Prophet." This film was directed by Teco Benson and produced by Gary Foxcroft of Stepping Stones Nigeria a UK Charity working in Nigeria to save the lives of children who have been falsely branded witches by pastors and other faith leaders. It was made as an advocacy tool by the charity, but the smart thing they did was to use a gifted director like Teco Benson. He managed to create a really good film. Personally, I was never a great fan of Charles Okafor before I saw The Fake Prophet, but he really sparkles in this film. You know the kind of feeling you have when you see an actor in a film and you say 'This role was written for him', Charles Okafor gave a good account of himself in this film. There are some inspired performances in this film and I enjoyed Big Fred Ezimmadu. Do I score it 100% Hell no. I told Teco Benson that for pivotal roles played by Grace Amah and Samuel Ajibola, their characters were underdeveloped, and it was the overall strong energy of the film that carried their scenes through. But every film has its own sins.  For a synopsis, this is from my review of the film, it should do: James Udofia (Charles Okafor) is a courier in a human trafficking racket run by Honourable Igbinosa (Big Fred Ezimmadu). Between Udofia and Igbinosa they ship off girls in rotten situations from Nigeria to Europe, where they are thrown into prostitution. When a run fails and Udofia loses Igbinosa’s cargo, Udofia flees to his village in Akwa Ibom State to hide from Igbinosa’s wrath. Without any known talents, without any education, without any marketable skills, Udofia’s life soon becomes pure drudgery, until his eureka moment, when he gets the idea to start a church. Soon enough he begins to perform miracles with hired actors, and begins to accuse children of witchcraft, taking huge sums of money from their parents in order to deliver them. Despite his inability to successfully deliver any child from witchcraft, he establishes a powerful base on a platform of terror and blackmail. Prophet Udofia is soon responsible for several deaths of children and exile of others, notably Ekaette (Grace Amah) and Inyang (Samuel Ajibola) – the duo accused of killing Ekaette’s father and banished from the village. It is a gripping story, well-performed and very well-directed by Teco Benson. My message is simple: Go to the cinema and see The Fake Prophet. It is a very good film made by a leading Nollywood director, this film is a good ambassador for Nollywood, and dispenses with unnecessary time-wasting scenes. There are no Parts 1 & 2, this is a complete, gripping story from start to finish. It does not have and is not about juju, which puts off some people from Nollywood films. That's a breath of fresh air! By supporting this film, you will be supporting African cinema, making it possible for us to bring you more world class entertainment from Africa to the UK. Most importantly, you will be helping Stepping Stones Nigeria prevent the abuse and murder of children in Nigeria and elsewhere.

4. We learnt that tickets are selling for the screening of this film in Greenwich, South East London. How do people get these tickets and when will the movie be screened?

The Fake Prophet premiered at the Amnesty International Centre, London in May 2010, and received its US premiere in New York March 2011. I attended the London premiere and felt that the story in the film needed to be told. Hence our bringing it to the big screen at the Odeon Cinema on the 24th and 25th of June, 2011. The tickets are sold in advance only though the Nollywood Focus website at www.nollywoodfocus.com or through http://thefakeprophetmovie.eventbrite.com We are also supported in our marketing by Enugu Old Skoolz group and the Igbo Cultural and Support Network (ICSN).

5. Thank you Nnorom Azuonye, and we do hope to get back to you for another exhilarating interview purely focused on your writing adventures.

Thanks Jeff. It has been my pleasure. Let's do this again sometime

May 2011.

I TAKE CRITICISMS IN GOOD FAITH __ UNOMA AZUAH

Unoma Nguemo Azuah was born in Ogwashi-Ukwu, Delta state, Nigeria to a Tiv father from Ukan in Ushongo local government area of Benue state and to an Igbo mother from Asaba, in Delta state.  As an undergraduate at Nsukka, she edited the English department literary journalThe Muse and received the awards of the best Creative Writing student for two consecutives years: 1992 and 1993. Her other awards include the Hellman/Hammett Human Rights grant for her writings on womens issues (1998), and the Leonard Trawick Creative Writing Award (2000), the Urban Spectrum award,the Leonard Trawick award and the Association of Nigerian Authors/NDDC Flora Nwapa award for her debut novel Sky-high Flames. She also has a collection of short stories, The Length of Light and a book of poetry, Night Songs. Prof. Unoma Azuah also holds an MFA in Poetry and Fiction from the Virginia Commonwealth University. She currently teaches Composition and Creative Writing at Lane College, Jackson, Tennessee, USA. [Continue: http://unomaazuah.com/biography.html]

Jeff Unaegbu: How precisely do you think Nigerian writers and writings are viewed globally today? And how is this view helping the image of Nigeria?

Unoma Azuah: Theres been a steady growth in the acknowledgement and recognition of Nigeria literature globally. Therefore, it creates a kind of balanced story per Nigerias image. In other words, the notion that Nigerians are nothing but scammers is being challenged because a huge number of Nigerian artists, not just writers have been involved with great and innovative work all around the world. Nigeria has quite a number of writers doing well internationally.

JU: Many Nigerians would rather watch football or do something else than read books. Why is this so? And what do you think writers should do to address this situation?

UA: Many Nigerians would prefer visual entertainment because they have enough to contend with already. It takes a fairly comfortable person to engage in mental entertainment (reading) especially when one is pre-occupied with what to eat the next day. What can be done? Perhaps, a better economy will help things. Bringing back the disappearing middle class families will also go a mighty way in seeing the reading culture revived.

JU: Nigerian writers, especially the third generation writers, seem to have an inclination for poetry than any other genre of writing. Do you think this is a historical art movement or a desire to emerge anyhow through poetic license?

UA: Did you say emerge anyhow via poetic license? In other words, youre implying that this generation of writers is lazy? I really cant say.  Perhaps, it is easier to write verses than to employ longer narrative. Who knows?

JU: As a Nigerian writer living outside the country for sometime now, it must be pretty difficult for you to draw inspiration when you want to have a Nigerian setting in your writing. How do you cope with this?

UA: Yes, initially it was difficult because my whole psych took a while to adjust to the new environment. Hence, for years I couldnt even pen a word. However, with time, it became easier. Youd be surprised at the kind of impact a new/alien environment can have on ones writing; one can be affected in surprising ways. On the other hand, I am home as often as I can afford to. It helps me not to lose touch, and thats the period I do most of my writing, particularly longer narratives.

JU: You were in Nsukka last year for a poetry workshop where I met you for the first time after years of interacting with you in Nnorom Azuonyes Sentinel Poetry internet club, what is your impression of young writers at Nsukka during that visit and what advice would you give for growth? Again, what is your general impression of Nsukka during that visit?

UA: Well, I was very impressed with their level of enthusiasm; it was quite encouraging. I am wondering of there are some writing clubs that can be formed and informally meet as often as they can to read and critique each others work. There are also numerous online poetry clubs and blogs one can be a part of especially if they have a reasonable access to the internet. I am also hoping that those I gave my contact can stay in touch because Id be happy to provide any mentoring assistance and share publishing outlets within my network. Returning to Nsukka has its own special kind of nostalgia that hangs over me. Nsukka is a beautiful town, and I miss the greenery, the bubbling life, the warmth and safety that it was. It was like a womb to be; now though, it looks over-run and abandoned. However, I still hold it sacred and will always adore its sense of serenity. It is my home.

JU: Back in the University of Nigeria, Nsukka in the 90s, you were the Editor-in-Chief of the Muse Journal of the English Department, could you relieve those moments, bringing into view how they helped you grow
as a writer and what you have done to give back to that university?

UA: The Muse was an excellent platform of growth for me as an apprentice. Albeit, I had to battle male chauvinists who were mostly in charge of the literary affairs before and after I took the realms of affairs as one of the few pioneer female editors. Nonetheless, we worked as a family and were passionate about literature and writing.  Our love for Literature glued us together in spite of some antagonism that existed. Then again families do have their ups and downs. It was well worth it. I miss some of the nights we stayed up, reviewing, copying and pasting materials to get them ready for the publishers. I remember frequenting Enugu where our publisher was based, and then having to stay over for a day or two just to make sure the journals go back with me to Nsukka.  This encounter gave me the hands-on experience that I use till date.  I did establish an endowment with my fathers name, the Peter Akaa Azuah literary awards as a way to give back to the community that fostered me. Unfortunately, there was a communication break down along the line, but I am hoping that the award will be revived.

JU: Your collection of short stories, Length of Light showcases the yawning dissimilarities between the desires or dreams of ordinary people and the realities that surround them. What influenced you to focus on this theme and how do you wish this book to affect people?

UA:  When I was growing up, I witnessed dire needs and lack and these constrained me to ask questions about the huge disparity I saw and still see between the rich and the poor in Nigeria. It saddened me to witness great potential wasted on an unnecessary car wreck for example because the roads have been abandoned, or to see a young life destroyed  by the very flame of the fuel he tried to hawk on a roads side just as a mere attempt to survive or exist. So part of responding to these questions and toying with answers was found in creating stories. It was as therapeutic as creating order in the midst of chaos where none comes to be in my reality. Writing these stories became a coping mechanism. It has been my hope that these stories read like a signpost for our leader or their advisers, and maybe force them to be for the people they govern.

JU: Your novel, Sky-high Flames, clearly motivates women who are entangled in a wrong cultural web to bravely disentangle themselves from it. Is it possible for this novel to motivate men to leave wrong marriages too, especially if their dying parents, in a bid to have a grandchild, had pressured them to marry a wrong girl?

UA: Yes. Sky-high Flames can be interpreted as dont novel.  One of my many intentions for writing the novel is to let people know that what counts at the end of the day are their lives and not their parents or relatives or communities lives.  If one is not at peace with ones self, one can not share or spread love and peace. Gone are the days when we do things to please people when at the end of the day, we have to face the beat to the consequences of our choiceswise or otherwise.

JU: In the soon-to-be-published Edible Bones, we are faced with the realities of hoping for greener pastures. And at once, one senses that you are trying to drone into your audience the difficult truth about traveling and living abroad, especially because the theme was dealt with in Sirens a short story in Length of Light and in other writings of yours. Is this an indication of a difficult personal experience bordering on immigration or a desire to simply reveal to Nigerian immigrants the cost of living home, or both?

UA: Yes and No. Yes because relocating is a form of dislocation, and the grass may not be as green as one may have envisioned it to be. Additionally, there are prices to be paidbe it in dealing with the weather or in trying to make your foreign neighbor understand what youre trying to say with a thick Nigerian accent. It can be frustrating. Nevertheless, I say No because there are two types of immigrantsthose that are legal and go about their normal businesses without fear. Then there are others that are illegal, most of which face horrible encounters. Some of them are hounded like animals, some others cease to exist because they have to destroy their true identities in order to manipulate and negotiate their way through the system. These are the types of immigrants I try to capture in Edible Bones.

JU: Using some of your poems, could you please point out messages which you deeply wish your readers pick out as they read your poetry?

UA: Id say that my poems came and still come in phases. There was a time my preoccupation was with respect for traditional rituals and beliefs in contrast to what the Western influence is doing to us and has done to us. Look at fundamental Christianity for instance, it has eaten deep into our fabric, so much so that some of use attempt to obliterate our traditional strongholds be it in artworks that are/were found in shrines or in desecrating places once considered sacred.  Then I explored sexuality and human rights, which I still do. My point here is that my messages vary depending on the time and place I find myself.

JU: You organize very lively poetry workshops in which a lot about poetry is learnt. For the benefit of many aspiring writers who have not attended these workshops, could you please briefly reveal some secrets
to writing good poetry?

UA:  I am not sure Id call them secrets but most of the engaging piece of art, be it poetry or music tend to evoke images and tap into the five human senses of taste, touch, smell, sight and hearing. In other words, can I see harmony in your poem? Harmony in this context is very much like the harmony in music where you hear, not just one voice, but voices working together to produce a breathtaking result. The same applies to poetry. Can I find a poem that taps into multiple tropes and still maintain a strong sense of blend and balance? Can I visualize what youre saying in your poem? Are you being sincere in your poem or are you trying to impress? Be yourself, be simple, and try to paint a picture, have a message.

JU: In the public eye, it appears you are preoccupied with prose than poetry recently, is there a deliberate reason for this?

UA: No. There is no reason for it. It comes with my mood sometimes, and I guess lately I see more complexities as I get older and the prose format gives me that broad brush to get entangled and disentangled. It gives me a generous amount of space to investigate more options and possibilities.

JU: Your book of poetry, Night Songs portrays sexuality as one of its themes. And the issue of homosexuality in males and females is in the front burner in the world today. What is your clear take on this?

UA:  My take on sexuality is that people should not be victimized or killed because of their sexual orientation. If religion becomes the basis for judging people of the sexual minority, then they should let God be God and not act for Him or on his behalf. He is capable. I dont think God sanctions persecution for any human He finds worthy to create, regardless of what may be considered their flaws, and if there is a need for such maltreatments, then let Him take charge for those that believe in the Day of Judgment. Period!

JU: In order to encourage and motivate upcoming writers, could you kindly reveal to us the difficulties you went through to have your works published and how you overcame them?

UA:  Finding a major publishing channel was daunting but with time I learned that patience and consistency in hard work pays off.  Further, I was fortunate to have friends who were/are professionals. We shared and critiqued our writing. Some of their criticisms were harsh. But, I learned how to take it in good faith. I didnt take it personally because I realized early that taking corrections and revising made me a better writer. I started to appreciate feedback and criticism. Consequently everyday I acquired something new.

JU: What advice do you have for upcoming Nigerian writers?

UA:  Keep writing, if youre good, the light will find you and get you to the limelight.  Let writing be something you enjoy doing. Focus on it; perfect it as much as you can before looking into publishing. The process is painstaking, but it will come when it will come. Dont give up.

JU: As a digression, especially for the benefit of your female fans, what is your idea of an ideal man or a Mr. Right?

UA: My idea of an ideal man is centered on love, trust, patience, understanding, and being a friend. Keeping that communication channel open always is something he should be willing to provide.

JU: How do you view romantic relationships and what personal experiences of this kind would you like to share with your readers?

UA: It is my opinion that romance may fade but where there is true love that romance continues to be fed and nurtured.  Without true love, romance is usually a short lived phenomenon: a mere infatuation. You know it is true love when your partner accepts you just the way you are with all your flaws, he does not try to change you to suit his taste. Otherwise, run!

JU: Thank you Professor Unoma Azuah for this exhilarating interview. We hope to have you again soon for another engaging session.

Dated March 30, 2011.

MY OPINION ON RAPE

I want you to read this with an open mind. When a lady is raped, she goes into a very devastating trauma. Her brain tries to fight the reality of being raped. A number of things could happen. She may forget the details of how it happened. This is because her brain is trying to sink humiliating experiences into oblivion, so that her esteem can be rebuilt. It happens to all of us. We forget details of humiliating experiences in order to retain our sanity. The trauma of being raped can be that subtle. Sometimes, the brain tries to protect her from the pain by giving her doses or degrees of the shock slowly, so that she looks for rationalizations. The brain could do a number of things depending on the individual. A curious angle is the one in which, if she does not get justice immediately, she transfers justice to the next man who tries to kiss her without her consent. The severity of her reaction would startle the man. She may even knife him. This action is needed to balance or foreclose the equation of her rape experience. We must be deeply psychological. When I see fellow men deriding or mocking a female rape victim, asking her all sorts of detailed questions which are painful for her to remember, I wince in shock. Education is not only book knowledge. There is a way to establish if the lady is lying or telling the truth. You can't just say because her story is incoherent, that she is lying. Remember I said something about a kind of forgetfulness or amnesia that her brain went into just to protect her sanity. The way to know the truth is to take her back to the physical scene of the rape. Her reactions will be closely observed by a trained psychologist. Men must be careful how they approach female rape victims. You must be careful how you equate her level of incoherence to your decision that she must be raising a false alarm. And this is even more complicated if the rape happened when she was very young.
When you want to have sex with a lady and she begins to resist vehemently, don't interpret her reaction to mean that she wants you to put more pressure so that she can submit to your roughness. Many men have this belief and they end up raping women unknowingly!!!!! They rationalize it is consensual sex. Therein lies all the difference.
Like I said the brain of a raped victim can do a number of unbelievable things. The most amazing of them is when her brain forces her to love her rapist. This is Stockholm syndrome. She has been broken and she needs help. She becomes brainwashed to believe that the rape was good for her! This happens in cult groups such as terrorist enclaves and churches. Yes, churches. The brain of a female victim could rationalize that the pastor was right somehow to rape her. Then, it happens again, and again, and again.
That strange reaction from the brain does not happen to all rape victims however. This is where the individual differences theory plays a part.
In many cases, the brain plots revenge silently. This is the dangerous angle. A sniper rifle or the sniper bottle could do if the culprit is always close-by....
NB: Please google "psychogenic amnesia" and "motivated forgetting" before you comment in the opposite direction.